i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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