just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
