As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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