There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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