I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize