I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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