i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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