hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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