the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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