hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
