How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
