dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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