i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
