true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need a burrito and a hug.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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