Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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