Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
