He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
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She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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