so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit