He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize