The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
