Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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