when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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