her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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