Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
