mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
