I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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