As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize