I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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