Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.