I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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