i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
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I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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