I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
