Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
