Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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