yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize