Dual....:-)
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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