yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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