What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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