somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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