now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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