so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
