Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
