i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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