It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
