the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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