You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
