Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
