Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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