Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
