kristin has been a bad kristin
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
