Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
