she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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