dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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