what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
