Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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