so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize