Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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