so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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