He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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