My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
